This is what Community feels like: Thank You

The day before my birthday I found nits in Isadora's hair. Shit. shit. shit.

I surrendered to louse warfare and engaged full force. shampoo x 3 in the household. 4 hours of combing. vacuumed and ironed the mattresses, couches, chairs. laundry, continuous laundry.

At around 4am in the morning of my birthday (I was born at 5:02am, mind you) I was awakened by the feeling of warm piss oozing into my pajamas. Isadora peed on me. lovely. changed the sheets again.

Woke up, said happy birthday to myself, stepped on a juicy slug that was slugging across my bedroom floor. Went to the laundry room and found cat shit on a pile of freshly washed clothes. Spilled spoiled milk all over my pants and found moth worms in my flax seed. What the fuck, right?

I was having a parasitic birthday party...

I went to class at 6pm with the mindset of "this birthday sucks, let it go. No expectations. Get the day over with." I was planning on dancing until 10pm and coming home to work on my newlsetter until it got done. Even if it meant sleep time at 2am. I had a list of stuff to get done. Birthday-shmirthday.

As the advanced girls filed in, Christi handed me an envelope. Everyone gathered around. I thought to myself, "oh, no they didn't." Yes, they did. The DragonFlies and several of my most devoted students all went in on a new stereo sound system for the studio. The blood rushed to my head, I saw stars, I started to happy cry, but I couldn't really. I was in shock. I went from cat-shit, nit pickin' hell to the feeling of utmost gratitude. I felt loved and appreciated.

I had just come out of a low too. One of those nasty small business owner lows when I had been doubting everything I was doing at Moon Belly. All those doubts melted in two seconds. It was a jolt. It was a surprise from the women I love most in the world. It was a message, "We believe in you."

I know they have their own selfish motives here too. Ever since the ipod speakers croaked we have been drilling to computer speakers that tweeked and twinged with every bass. But, it was more than selfish desire. It was an investment. It was, yet again, another form of commitment to themselves as dancers and to the community at Moon Belly.

I canceled class and went out for a stiff drink with all the gals. I came home a few hours later and just cried. I cried because I am happy. I cried because I am grateful. I cried because these women knew better than myself what I needed. This is what community feels like. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

To the Moon Belly dancers:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ladies. My heart will thump every time I look at my new 30" maude deco speakers and feel that bass rock the sushi plates at KoJaba upstairs.

I never cease to be amazed by your devotion. When I see ya'll in home posture, glutes contracting, sweat dripping down your face and that look in your eye of sheer and utter will...it reminds me of why I am doing this. The magic you bring to the wood floors of Moon Belly will remain there for years and years. Even after we are gone. When you dance, you change the world.

Love-love always,

Kandice

Takes Two to Tango

I recently started taking Argentine Tango lessons with Master K. I am in love with this art form. What a wonderful teacher he is! He is a very respectful dancer and teacher. He is kind, supportive and patient. I am catching on rather quickly (so he says...I feel like an idiot about half the time).

Master K contacted me randomly via email and wanted to know if I was interested in lessons. I had no idea who he was. I had never danced with a partner before. I am a belly dancer with a background in women's studies. Needless to say, I was a wee bit skeptical to say the least.

Who was this guy? And why did he want to give me Tango lessons?

Every girlfriend and female relative I told about the opportunity asked, "Why?"
My 85 year-old-gram, who I consult on all important issues, said "Is he a pervert?" She proceeded to call on a weekly basis after I started lessons to make sure he was NOT a pervert. I, of course, googled the guy to make sure he was legit. All looked good. Great, even.

So, I took the dive. I am so happy I did. It really wasn't that difficult of a decision, despite all of the above mentioned precautionary jabbers, I am almost always open to new things and meeting new people. I knew before the google search that I was sold.

So, here I am: a beginner Argentine Tango student.

How does this relate to belly dance?

Tango is a sensual and beautiful art form. I realized that the same type of skepticism and uncertainty about Master K also happens to me as soon as I tell people I am a belly dancer. The main difference is a reverse in gender stereotypes. I get a look like, "Oh you are living on the edge, girlfriend." Or, "You must be a sex crazed Kama Sutra expert!" Or even, "Don't talk to my husband."

Sometimes, I even get asked, "Do you do strip tease, too?" I love that one.

What is so hilarious is that belly dance has nothing to do with any of these ridiculous insinuations. It is such a misunderstood art form. The problem, like Argentine Tango, is that it does explore and express sensuality.

Our cultural inheritance has layered sensuality and sexuality so thick that most people don't know the difference between the two.

It is hard to find a good definition of sensuality. I found this description online at an IntimateExpressionGift.com no less!

"Sensuality means to be aroused by things of beauty, luxury and refinement, to be aware of and explore the world, life and love with all the senses. To be sensual is to be aware of and appreciate the natural, ecstasy that can be found in the sensuous, passionate world of feeling, inhabited by poets, artists, song writers and dreamers. Being sensual brings to us a life felt through our senses, seen only in the world of spirit."

To dance a sensuous dance, your world is enhanced by awareness, appreciation and acceptance for who and what you are. A passion for life and love.

Tango lessons will be offered at Moon Belly soon and I am so excited to share this with everyone!

The DragonFlies: Why we chose the name

This weekend Suhaila asked me, "When did you start The DragonFlies Belly Dance Company?"

I said, "About 5 years ago."

She said, "Where did you start it?"

I said, "In my living room."

She said, "Where did the name come from?"

I said, "My daughter made it up."

Madelynn was 7 years old at the time. We were living in a 30s style bungalow house in East Campus. We had transformed the living room into a dance studio the year before. I started teaching classes in the house after the birth of my second daughter, Isadora, who is now turning 7 this year. It is odd to think that the company is nearly as old as my daughter. I have birthed, nursed and managed to raise up a healthy 7 year old and a 5 year old dance company.

I was single when both of my daughters were born. During both pregnancies, the relationships I was in, with their respective fathers, crumbled. So, by the time they were born--I was solo both times. When Isadora came along, I was a bit more freaked about having two kids by myself than I was the first time around when I was younger, more free-spirited and more ignorant about the unfairness of life in general. Nonetheless, I bucked up and decided I would do it the way I wanted to do it despite the odds against me. I committed to nursing Isadora and staying at home with her until she was two years old. This was important to me. Teaching dance in the living room became one of the many odd jobs (including as close-as-you-can-get to sweat shop sewing labor) I performed at home to make ends meet. They barely met most months.

Teaching dance came out of necessity for me. I had been dancing for nearly 6 years at that point (I calculate how long I do anything based on my children's ages. I started belly dancing when Madelynn was a baby and she is now 13 years old, you do the math). It was a passionate hobby for me, but my dream was not to become a professional belly dancer. I was on the road to PhD Professor. Unexpected pregnancy, extreme poverty, lack of child support, an economy designed for a two-person income, and a stubborn refusal to put my babe in daycare put a bit of a damper on plan A. (I am not opposed to daycare by any means. Madelynn had gone to daycare as a baby. But this was my second baby and the last baby I knew I was every going to have. It was a choice I made for my personal values at the time.)

Teaching belly dance was fun. The living room studio started with random old mirrors I had found here and there that were supposed to fit on dressers or decorate bathroom walls. It was so bohemian it is hilarious. Isadora toddled around our feet in class. I could only get about 7 or 8 people in class at one time. I didn't have any idea where it was headed. My main priority was to be able to stay at home with my baby. In spring 2002 she was less than six months old and I performed with her wrapped up in silks and strapped onto my belly at Earth Day. Madelynn danced with me too. It was so sweet. I will never forget that dance.

The DragonFlies came about a year or so into teaching. I realized that I was starting to really love teaching and I wanted to bump it up a level. I wanted a troupe and I wanted us to perform out in town in a more organized way than I had done before. I wanted us to prepare choreographies ahead of time and rehearse them well. That sort of thing. I was starting to take this whole "belly dancing" thing more seriously.

Madelynn had been calling our house the DragonFly House because it was owned by the infamous Grace Ho of East Campus. She was a Chinese immigrant who, in her heyday, had owned a very large portion of student rental houses in East Campus. Her husband had died many years earlier in the house and still wandered the wood floors late at night. The basement was full to the ceiling with all of her belongings, as well as enough supplies to hold us over 3-5 years after a nuclear holocaust if we did it right.

Grace Ho was called the "Dragon Lady" by many who knew her because of her witchy ways. So, Madelynn called our house the Dragon-fly house. I was sitting on the basement stairs pondering what to call my new dance troupe. I was staring at an old Chinese novel that was stacked on top of a random box and was starting to fall apart. Madelynn said, "Call them The DragonFlies." And that was that. She has always been good at naming things.