Meditation Meets Kama Sutra

So, I am smelling the flowers these days. Or, at least trying to. The outside world of work and to-do lists keeps trying to take over. Like everyone else, I get caught up in what I am supposed to be doing instead of experiencing the now. And the fight to smell the flowers is just that: a fight. Paradoxically, the "fight" doesn't originate in stress or anger. It is more a meditation, a state of mind.

You have all heard this before. This is not a new concept. Spiritual leaders from Jesus to John Lennon have been singing and preaching to be here and now for ages. Sadly, though, it is like we have to constantly remind ourselves anyway. The practice is more important than the ideal.

You are what you do.

As a belly dancer, my latest obsession is learning to play the finger cymbals fluently. And, I am loving every second of it. When I am playing cymbals it is like reaching into a new space of reality. A peaceful space. Dancing is the same way, don't get me wrong, but I am at a place in my training where I can go deeper. When the rhythm is pumping through my body and I am playing with the music...my stress goes away. The to-do lists vanish. The world blurs into the illusion that it all really is.

Being able to layer dance movement and play the finger cymbals at the same time is a challenge. (Thank you to Suhaila for making it an uber-challenge at that!) It is not all joy-joy. But, in the effort comes the meditation again.

In belly dance we have a goal to make the dance appear effortless. Believe it or not, it is a huge compliment when an audience member says, "That looks easy. I think I can do it, too." The larger goal in belly dance though is not make it "appear" effortless, but eventually for it to feel like an untapped force channeling through and out the body. Effort is involved, but it is at ease. A calm effort.

The art of Middle Eastern dance is an interesting medium for meditation because there is a powerful sensual element. Meditation meets Kama Sutra. So, not only am I tapping into a state of mind that is focused and unfocused at the same time, but I am opening up areas of the body that rarely get to be free. Vibrating the glutes is a special treat that only happens after years of training. And, let me tell you, the elated benefits of super-glute control for your expressions of sensuality are just simply too personal and joyful to explain in a blog.

(Side note: My best friend in Chicago keeps begging me to teach her how to vibrate 7 different ways while sitting on a man. My response: get your ass to class!)

Some people jog. Some people practice kung fu. I belly dance. I find the greatest source of meditation in the moments of complex, layered movement and rhythm. I have a funny (and great) feeling that this is only going to get better with time. I am so excited to practice on into my prime years.

Don't be envious. It is just a distraction from your desire to go there too. Just get your ass to class!

This is what Community feels like: Thank You

The day before my birthday I found nits in Isadora's hair. Shit. shit. shit.

I surrendered to louse warfare and engaged full force. shampoo x 3 in the household. 4 hours of combing. vacuumed and ironed the mattresses, couches, chairs. laundry, continuous laundry.

At around 4am in the morning of my birthday (I was born at 5:02am, mind you) I was awakened by the feeling of warm piss oozing into my pajamas. Isadora peed on me. lovely. changed the sheets again.

Woke up, said happy birthday to myself, stepped on a juicy slug that was slugging across my bedroom floor. Went to the laundry room and found cat shit on a pile of freshly washed clothes. Spilled spoiled milk all over my pants and found moth worms in my flax seed. What the fuck, right?

I was having a parasitic birthday party...

I went to class at 6pm with the mindset of "this birthday sucks, let it go. No expectations. Get the day over with." I was planning on dancing until 10pm and coming home to work on my newlsetter until it got done. Even if it meant sleep time at 2am. I had a list of stuff to get done. Birthday-shmirthday.

As the advanced girls filed in, Christi handed me an envelope. Everyone gathered around. I thought to myself, "oh, no they didn't." Yes, they did. The DragonFlies and several of my most devoted students all went in on a new stereo sound system for the studio. The blood rushed to my head, I saw stars, I started to happy cry, but I couldn't really. I was in shock. I went from cat-shit, nit pickin' hell to the feeling of utmost gratitude. I felt loved and appreciated.

I had just come out of a low too. One of those nasty small business owner lows when I had been doubting everything I was doing at Moon Belly. All those doubts melted in two seconds. It was a jolt. It was a surprise from the women I love most in the world. It was a message, "We believe in you."

I know they have their own selfish motives here too. Ever since the ipod speakers croaked we have been drilling to computer speakers that tweeked and twinged with every bass. But, it was more than selfish desire. It was an investment. It was, yet again, another form of commitment to themselves as dancers and to the community at Moon Belly.

I canceled class and went out for a stiff drink with all the gals. I came home a few hours later and just cried. I cried because I am happy. I cried because I am grateful. I cried because these women knew better than myself what I needed. This is what community feels like. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

To the Moon Belly dancers:

Thank you from the bottom of my heart ladies. My heart will thump every time I look at my new 30" maude deco speakers and feel that bass rock the sushi plates at KoJaba upstairs.

I never cease to be amazed by your devotion. When I see ya'll in home posture, glutes contracting, sweat dripping down your face and that look in your eye of sheer and utter will...it reminds me of why I am doing this. The magic you bring to the wood floors of Moon Belly will remain there for years and years. Even after we are gone. When you dance, you change the world.

Love-love always,

Kandice

Takes Two to Tango

I recently started taking Argentine Tango lessons with Master K. I am in love with this art form. What a wonderful teacher he is! He is a very respectful dancer and teacher. He is kind, supportive and patient. I am catching on rather quickly (so he says...I feel like an idiot about half the time).

Master K contacted me randomly via email and wanted to know if I was interested in lessons. I had no idea who he was. I had never danced with a partner before. I am a belly dancer with a background in women's studies. Needless to say, I was a wee bit skeptical to say the least.

Who was this guy? And why did he want to give me Tango lessons?

Every girlfriend and female relative I told about the opportunity asked, "Why?"
My 85 year-old-gram, who I consult on all important issues, said "Is he a pervert?" She proceeded to call on a weekly basis after I started lessons to make sure he was NOT a pervert. I, of course, googled the guy to make sure he was legit. All looked good. Great, even.

So, I took the dive. I am so happy I did. It really wasn't that difficult of a decision, despite all of the above mentioned precautionary jabbers, I am almost always open to new things and meeting new people. I knew before the google search that I was sold.

So, here I am: a beginner Argentine Tango student.

How does this relate to belly dance?

Tango is a sensual and beautiful art form. I realized that the same type of skepticism and uncertainty about Master K also happens to me as soon as I tell people I am a belly dancer. The main difference is a reverse in gender stereotypes. I get a look like, "Oh you are living on the edge, girlfriend." Or, "You must be a sex crazed Kama Sutra expert!" Or even, "Don't talk to my husband."

Sometimes, I even get asked, "Do you do strip tease, too?" I love that one.

What is so hilarious is that belly dance has nothing to do with any of these ridiculous insinuations. It is such a misunderstood art form. The problem, like Argentine Tango, is that it does explore and express sensuality.

Our cultural inheritance has layered sensuality and sexuality so thick that most people don't know the difference between the two.

It is hard to find a good definition of sensuality. I found this description online at an IntimateExpressionGift.com no less!

"Sensuality means to be aroused by things of beauty, luxury and refinement, to be aware of and explore the world, life and love with all the senses. To be sensual is to be aware of and appreciate the natural, ecstasy that can be found in the sensuous, passionate world of feeling, inhabited by poets, artists, song writers and dreamers. Being sensual brings to us a life felt through our senses, seen only in the world of spirit."

To dance a sensuous dance, your world is enhanced by awareness, appreciation and acceptance for who and what you are. A passion for life and love.

Tango lessons will be offered at Moon Belly soon and I am so excited to share this with everyone!