2012 Transformations

Wow - it has been two years since my last post. So much has changed. I closed the studio downtown. It is true. It brings me to tears to type that so point blank. It is not so much that I miss it - but, reading through the posts in this semi-abandoned blog from 2009 and 2010, when I was building that dream, has made me nostalgic and sentimental. I loved that space. Good ole Saint James. We built the most beautiful, gorgeous, embryonic red floors. Those floors wrapped you up like a fetus while in shivasana after a juicy yoga class with Sienna. Those floors pumped energy up the soles of your feet as you drilled around the room repeating the same movement over and over - in a Suhaila drill. There was not an inch of those floors that I had not sanded, painted, touched with my bare hands. I cleaned every inch of them every week with hot water and essential oils. I loved those floors. Problems with the space, a downturn in the economy, James and I breaking up, a couple seriously toxic neighbors and a crystal clear vision received directly from the Goddess herself, that said to me, "Run like hell!," all led to my closing the space. Two years of running Moon Belly in that space was an adventure and I learned so much about myself - both good and bad things. I learned that I am a great leader with vision, creativity and energy, but need to learn to delegate. In typical single mother style, I tried to do everything myself. Money was tight and it was hard for me to visualize enough coming in to hire the staff I really needed. Too many years of poverty were shading my ability to see abundance or trust in abundance. Overall, I set up a situation in which I had very little support. Sadly, this is a recurring pattern I keep finding myself weaving in and out of. I am working on these issues and have learned to forgive myself for them, but trying to learn and grow from them too. I am now teaching one class a week. Just one class, that is all. I used to teach 10+ per week. Life is simple now. I teach at the School of Missouri Contemporary Ballet and it is a great space run by dedicated dancers and artists. It is well lit, pragmatic, solid and functional. I am so very grateful for MCB. I have much more free time in the evenings to share with my daughters. This makes me happy. I still teach private lessons in my home and the Moon Belly Ensemble and DragonFly Company still exist, just much smaller and on a 2012 mello membership trip. All is exactly as it should be. xoxo - K