Once more, I've had the pleasure of being a part of Kandice Grossman's vision extraodinaire! Taking part in her "WOMAN: God, Sex, and My Body" performance brought me such a thrill, and a jonesin like nobody's business to (*gasp*) perform again.

For this particular performance, I had my first experience on stage using a sword. Dancing to "Within You Without You" by the Beatles, which is chock full of Hindu spirituality and in the vein of much Indian classical music, our piece was in the "God" portion of the show.

For me, the most important thing about this performance (as drilled in class) was to become part of the group, not merely execute movements on beat. From the beginning, we were warned that this would be a different learning experience. This was proven immediately as we began to learn the choreography . . . learning with the lyrics as opposed to with 8 counts. We were instructed to be amoeba-like, to connect with each other, instead of focusing on being the one who was "doing it right" to come together (no Beatles pun intended) as one and, well, gel!

I think the line: "And to see you're really only very small/and life flows on within you and without you" sums it up quite well. Letting go of the ego on stage and becoming a part of the troupe was a bit harder than I thought, especially with a sword balanced on my head through various portions of the song. And I don't mean ego in the sense of arrogance, I mean the " the part of a person's self that is able to recognize that person as being distinct from other people and things." Turning with the sword balanced was going to be the end of me, or so I thought. But as the performance drew near, I grew relatively relaxed about it. Perhaps because this was my 3rd time performing, perhaps because we had such great instruction, perhaps because of a growing confidence that I am becoming a dancer.

Performing at The Blue Note in Columbia was a rush for me. In front of nearly 300 people, no less. Backstage, we kept getting reports about the line snaking into the alley. People. In line. I had some nervous moments, I'll admit. One or two lurches of the stomache. Intense dehydration right before we took the stage. But relatively, I was calm and knew what to do with these nerves. Deep breaths. Water. Yes, obvious solutions but when anxiety takes over it fogs my brain and pretty much renders any logical thought impossible.

On stage, I believe I only faltered once, trying to lower myself to the ground, sword on head, while doing figure 8's. I felt like the figure 8's disappeared and even jutted my arm up once in fear of the sword sliding off. But I didn't touch the sword, thank goodness, as it probably would've made it worse. Of course, if I see a video of the performance I'm sure I'll be Emily Critic #1. As usual. But for now, I feel pretty good about it. I even attempted to feel a connection with audience members, looking into the crowd for the first time without wanting to run off stage!

I feel even better though, about the whole sense of the show, the sense of community I see between the Dragonfly mama's, MoonBelly sistahs, and the local artists that support the show. Guest dancers Outer Limits and Pulguinha, costume designer Suzanne, the way everyone contributes. And how cool is the Columbia community for showing up in droves to this show? Until next time . . . I CAN'T WAIT!!!!